Driving home in London, way after midnight, I passed what looked like two bundles of clothes of the side of the road.

Something didn't seem quiet right, so I pulled over, reversed the 50m or so and got out of the car.

The two bundles of clothes were as I has suspected two people, a man and a woman, both unconscious, both sprawled out on the ground, a good metre or so away from the road itself. Both lying on the ground in unnatural positions.

My first thought was that they had both been knocked over by a car, and being an emergency first aider, I immediately went into 'first aide mode'. I looked at both bodies trying to visually decide which one of them had the more life threatening injuries.

The man had his leg bent under him, his arm was wall over the place, so I decided to walk over to him first.

I bent over his body and asked if everything was OK. No response. I asked again. No response. I shouted this time, leaned over and pinched his ear lobe.

This time, the man in a very croaky, weak voice asked me if I was a policeman. I said I was not. He then turned his head towards me and with as much venom as he could, told me in now clearly drunken and slurry way to, 'FUCK OFF THEN.'

I left them both where they were to sleep it off.

Next time I better see blood before I stop.